Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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