...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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