i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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