we're blogging at a bar
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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