so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
