does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
