I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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