is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
