Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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