I just cut my nipple shaving
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
