My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
