We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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