Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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