Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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