i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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