Can Purell be used as lube?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
