I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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