I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I touched a dick in church today
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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