Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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