I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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