i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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