I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
