Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I want a musical about memes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
