He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
