Someone shit on the floor
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
