KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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