My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
