i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I will be naked everywhere
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
