The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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