Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
