College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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