Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
