i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
