one two three fourrrrnication!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
