i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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