Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
