my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
