I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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