all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
