Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
