Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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