I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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