well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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