She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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