Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
