fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
