Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
