i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
