all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
