I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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