I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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