his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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