What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
