People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
