I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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