Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
