Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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