She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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