Hey man sorry I got all grabby
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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