You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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