She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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