She announced her abortion via fbk
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
