what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My dick has a subreddit
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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