it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
