Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
