i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize