i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I can text with my tongue
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
