Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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