wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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