Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
