i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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