The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
