it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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