just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
