Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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