bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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