Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize