found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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