I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
birth control should be required to get into college
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
