I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
