His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
