Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
