bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
