don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My penis needs a shock collar
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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