I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
